Today was my last day of undergraduate classes at Penn State University. To be honest, I hadn’t really noticed, but both Stacy and my dad pointed this out to me. Maybe it’s because I still have a few more things to finish up before I am truly “done” or maybe it’s just because I can’t let go… but I don’t really feel like it’s over.
I’ll never really let go of this university, mostly because one day I hope to be working for it. (Fingers crossed!) I don’t have time to go into what I’ll miss (walks around campus identifying trees and flowers, naps in the grass outside Chambers, shakes at the creamery, classes, witing on the steps of the library, lazing in the garden/pond area near the Alumni Center….) but I have to say that I will miss it all. I walked by the lilacs today, heading towards the library, and it filled me with longing. I long for it not to end. I will miss it next year when I am teaching children whose native language is not English. I will miss it when I’m substitute teaching in SCASD and students are throwing paper airplanes at my head. It is easy to complain now, as I have a paper looming over my head (due in 14 hours) and the scariest final of my college career. Not to mention the PRAXIS… if I fail I can’t teach. My dreams shattered.
Anyway… I already feel like I’m gone, even though I’ll be on campus tomorrow handing in a paper. Maybe I’ll stop for a moment, take off my shoes, stomp around in the grass, lie there, lose myself in thoughts, and for a moment, pretend that next week is not the beginning of the rest of my life. Pretend, for a moment, that a chapter in my life is not ending, because, well, I didn’t finish writing it quite yet.
Tai Chi form test
Special Education Exam
History of Urban Planning Exam
Philosophy of Education paper
PRAXIS II Exam
German History FINAL