[PHOTOS] late season snow

School work and adulting has been pressing heavy on me lately. I haven’t been trail running as much as I’d like to be. I have a 25k race in three weeks that I’m not trained for. I don’t have time to plan and prep meals, and my eating habits have suffered. I’m so exhausted by the end of the day.

It’s springtime here in Central Pennsylvania, but you wouldn’t know it by the weather that’s been blowing through. Monday we had yet another late-season snowfall, and a fairly substantial one. Our school was already closed because of it being Easter weekend, but other schools and businesses had delays. We got between 4-6 inches depending on the location.

One of my favorite things to do is to go trail running in Rothrock in fresh snow. And I wanted that so badly. But, I just couldn’t swing it in my schedule. I had to take my kid to an early morning doctor appointment, then to her theatre class, and then I had lesson prep to do. Yes, when teachers aren’t working, they’re still working. Just in case you didn’t know.

But I was determined to at least get outside and submerge my body in this snow. So I went for a walk at a local nature center. A nice slow stroll where I took pictures, stopped to listen to the birds complain about the snow, and write a bit of poetry. The snow was melting faster than it came, and being envelopes by trees shedding their winter burden was such a delight. I got pelted several times by falling snowi. It was magical, even though it wasn’t the forest and it wasn’t for very long.

Always #optoutdoors. It’s the only thing that will save us from ourselves.

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[POEM] haiku: still there

I discovered you
hanging there in the ether
now what to do

/ / /

Gina Thompson
27 March 2018
Bellefonte, PA

[poem] winter still

soon there will be spring
and a chorus of peepers
now, earth holds frozen

/ / /

Gina Marie Thompson
17 March 2018
State College, PA

[POEM] release is

release is

Mud on the floor of my car

A ponytail not quite neat

A drip of sweat in between my breasts

That text I had to send, knowing it was wrought with subtext

That other text I sent, because it was true

And that heavy will never completely fade

Eyes closed, letting this song’s bass wash
over me

Fantasizing about a haircut but not doing it

Walking across a field with the sun setting in front of me

A heart that never stops loving

And beats too fast too quickly

Exhales that are too heavy

Mud on my ankles

70 degrees in February

Saying what I feel when I feel it without apology (or maybe with)

Acknowledging my flaws

Embracing the scars I carry

Hearing the song birds return for the impending spring

My daughter waving at me from the window

Motioning for me to come inside

And leave this heartache for now

/ / /

Gina Thompson
20 February 2018
Bellefonte PA

[POEM] Otto’s Pub, at the bar

Otto’s Pub, at the bar

it’s hard to sit here without thinking
but I quiet the heart and watch
liquid from tap to glass to lips
listen to layers of conversation
echoing against tables and ceiling

I sit, hollowed out by quieted silence
smile at the drunken man beside me
the last time I was here, a man
moved to another seat
because my laugh was too loud

I’m always too loud
too abrasive
too intimidating
too open
too sexual
too alluring

I’m too much
but I also know
I’m never quite enough

/ / /

Gina Thompson
20 January 2018
State College, PA

[POEM] rebirth

rebirth

I had an extra copy of Jose Angel Valente
it now sits on a friend’s nightstand
the first poem read, a reminder
was the reason I got the book

no longer indebted, the only string I hold
now is compassion
now is love
not leftover cycled through love
but reborn into new
grown different and strong from a place
that dwells deeper than these surface holes

At midnight I slept, dreaming of new
anxieties, hopes, fears, loves
this new year might bring.
I want to start living
on the other side of fear.

We reset and start again.

/ / /

Gina Thompson
1 January 2018
Bellefonte PA

#whyiwrite

By Nayyirah Waheed

Snapshot in time, middle of October, 2008 & 2017

Snapshot in time, middle of October, 2008 & 2017

I chose the date strategically. Because who doesn’t want to get married surrounded by the vibrant colors of fall? Reds, oranges, yellows, browns, with a hint of green still hanging on. There’s still the warm from summer mixed with the cool breeze of Autumn. There were chrysanthemums bought at the farmers market. Apples bought at the local fruit farm. A little pergola in a tiny park tucked in an old Victorian town. There was duck food wrapped prettily for the guests, because there were ducks waddling and enjoying the cool waters from the natural spring. There’s always a risk with weather in October. But this day was perfect. Not too many and not too few. Our friends stood and said beautiful things about us and about marriage. We laughed and cried at their words. Friends read passages from favorite texts. There was sunshine and there was noise from the town traffic. I wonder now who might have been driving by or walking through the park that day to steal a peek at our fun. There was no driving from ceremony to reception, just a short walk down a tiny road to the old town mill-turned-restaurant. Cozy and intimate and warm. There was no grand entrance or bouquet thrown or garter tossed. Just everyone we loved there to celebrate with us.

---

That was almost a decade ago. This year we spent that day mostly in the way we do now: busy and hurried, forgetting to slow down and appreciate one another. But there was a surprise picnic, coordinated with the help of dear friends who loves us so much. And on this second weekend in October, when nine years ago we were celebrating our love with friends, this year we celebrated our love as of family of three, enjoying all of the pleasures of fall. These little moments are just that. Nothing profound happened that day or this weekend. But it’s these little moments of joy that are so necessary for our hurried and anxious lives. The hay ride, the acres of pumpkins, the yellow flowers that made her sing, the mud and the hay that clung to my clothes, conversations with strangers, hearing her talk and talk and laugh, the homemade soup and whoopie pies, seeing an old friend, the corn maze, planting the seed from the apple, a friend’s homestead, the bearded dragons, the cats, the friendly horses, the conversation. There wasn’t anything particularly remarkable about it all, but somehow it was so very remarkable. A lovely anniversary weekend, unintended to be.

[POEM] Would I still turn right, knowing that you turned left?

Would I still turn right, knowing that you turned left? 

to guess takes too much out of me
so I just go without expectation
on the ridge there was wind pushing fog
in the valley there was damp stillness
up here on these rocks I hear voices
the trickle of a dry Autumn spring
the rustle of remaining leaves
the sun is trying hard to burn away the morning
I watch an insect trek across glacial rocks
willing the answer to be yes and always so
willing my heart to make peace with my mind
to never again go in the direction of pain

/ / /

Gina Thompson
15 October 2017
The Boulders, Shingletown Gap

I am enough

You are so wildly enough. Don’t accept anything less than what you deserve. I spent too many years living in the shadows of others, allowing them to intentionally and unintentionally prey on my self-doubt. My self-awakening has caused a lot of discomfort and pain for those that love me, but it’s been the most important transition for my overall health and well-being. I found rock-bottom. It was ugly and scary and I didn’t want to stay there. Today I am blessed to have a few close humans (friends and family) that have stuck with me while I danced with darkness. Because of their love and support, and my own discovery of self worth, I’ve made it to light again, even brighter than before. I am finally who I am and who I was meant to be. Now others must accept that or move on, because I’m no longer willing to bend or be manipulated or live in the shadows of others..

.

. #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #depression #selflove #selfworth #youareenough via @shinetext, who’s daily text reminders to #shine are so very lovely and helpful. 😊🌈🌟☀️💪